Open thread: The things we've done under the influence

What I've done while tipsy. Well, I got into a submissive fling with a much younger man (read about it here, here, and here). I had my first sexual experience with a girl. I fucked my bother-in-law. Drunken little slut.

As Dorothy Parker said, "I love a dry martini, two at the most. Three, I'm under the table. Four, I'm under the host."

When I was 20 and still fairly inexperienced, I had a doozy boozy experience. For years, I had noticed how my dad's buddies had their eyes on me. For a long time, I thought it was because I was ugly or funny looking. Hey, I was naive. Anyway, by 20 I was savvy enough to know what it meant. Once I accompanied my father to a dinner/springtime party for the large company where he worked. I wore a little black dress and was already looking for trouble.

As soon as we got there, I ran into my dad's golfing buddy Chuck. He had long "appreciated" me. Buff and tan, he was a surgeon and private pilot, very cocky, very married. He steered me over to the bar and bought me my first martini. Back then, like any college kid, I liked beer or sweet drinks. But I wanted to appear sophisticated. We stood against the wall and talked. Soon Mrs. Chuck -- Diane -- drifted over and joined the conversation, staring daggers at me. She was a pretty blonde -- but an young attractive woman is a destabilizing threat to any wife with half a brain. We talked, time passed and all of us went to circulate elsewhere.

Half an hour later, Chuck found me on the terrace of the country club, bored out of my skull by these old fogies. He brought another martini, and I drank it. He was very attractive, and I felt the innate competitiveness now with Diane, and I drank way too fast as he asked me about college and whatever... Pretty soon, I excused myself to go to the restroom. When I came out, there was the buff surgeon, standing in the hall. He took me by the arm and led me into an unoccupied ballroom.

We came together like matter in some physics experiment -- and, wow, being kissed by an older, experienced man was so much better than making out with some college guy. He just ravished me with kisses on my mouth, neck... I was ravenously horny as he put me on a table, hiked up my legs and pulled down my panties. He went down on me and I thought I would come right then -- but he was good; he just kept me hovering on the edge of orgasm. I kept ineffectually reaching for his pants, and soon he complied. Dropping them and his boxers, as he slid his cock inside my dripping pussy. I gasped from the moment he entered, and he fucked me with sure, rhythmic strokes. It didn't take long before I exploded, screaming...I couldn't help it.

He was still standing, fucking me on the table. "God, you're so tight," he gasped. He fucked me expertly, through a couple more orgasms, but I could tell he was about to come, too. "Are you on the pill?" he breathed. "Unh-huh," I managed to get out, and he came inside me, shuddering, moaning...hell, he was going to come inside me whether I was on the pill or not, he was so far gone. I felt his come shoot in me, and he held me close for a long time, stroking my hair, telling me how beautiful I was.

We put ourselves back together -- having left a massive come stain on the table cloth. About fifteen minutes later, I was back with dad, but still watching Chuck across the room. He was talking to this or that bigwig, smiling like a man who had just fucked the sweet young thing he had lusted after for years. Then Diane came up, smiled sweetly and pulled on his tie, as if to pull him down to kiss him. A second after their faces met, she slapped him so hard I could hear it across the noisy room. She had smelled my sweet pussy odor on Chuck's face.

By that point, I was drinking Diet Coke.