Showing posts with label sex tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex tips. Show all posts
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tips for men, part 1
And just when you thought this was becoming a porn site, back to prose. (And, by the way, some of the pics here are indeed me — you just have to use your imagination as to which ones.) I am sorry to report, after much research, that most men are mediocre-to-bad lovers. My girlfriends tell me this about their husbands and boyfriends, too. But all is not lost. Be a lifetime learner. Here are ten pieces of advice.
1. DO be a great kisser. Kissing is very important to women, much more so than to most men. It's more than a prelude, more than foreplay. Learn to kiss her as she wants to be kissed; learn the different rhythms and styles. A light kiss and nose-to-nose rubbing can be a great start. Take her face gently into your hands. Use your tongue gradually, teasingly. Spend time with this. Kiss her beforehand, during the act and afterward. As she opens up, kiss her deeply, let your tongues play together. Kiss her ears, neck...wrists are very sensitive. Act as if you could spend the whole night kissing her.
2. DO spend time with foreplay. There are always quickies and up-against-the-wall or bent-over-the-sofa fucks. But usually, women need to be warmed up, and the right foreplay is as important as fucking itself. Learn how she likes to have her breasts loved on — I like my pert nipples to be sucked hard, but not every woman does; some have such sensitive nipples the wrong kind of sucking can be painful. Circle the nipple with your tongue and go from there. Nibble on her belly, lick her navel and suck her toes, lick her legs, suck her fingers. Skin on skin. A light touch across her body.
3. DO take your time.
4. DO learn to be a great pussy licker. This is the only way many women can really have an authentic orgasm, or learn to open up to you and let go. And it's a great compensator if you come too fast or reach that age where you have a sudden erectile dysfunction. Tell her she has a beautiful pussy. Tell her you love her scent (not "smell").
5. DO fuck her missionary. Women love to look you in the eye and feel that connection. Try the "riding high" adaptation of this position, where you're putting pressure on her pubic bone and clit — it's a great feeling and can give many women an orgasm. Missionary is also a wonderful starter to then putting her legs over your shoulders and other positions. Then let her get on top and ride.
6. DO say her name as you fuck her. I love my name and love to hear it from a man who's inside me.
7. DO be slow and gentle at first, especially if you're well-endowed. Learn the moves and rhythms she responds to.
8. DON'T pull out suddenly after you come. It's a yucky feeling for a woman. Stay put and let your penis go flaccid while you kiss her and stroke her hair.
9. DON'T assume she wants to be taken roughly unless she sends you some clear signals. Most women don't, especially at first. They do want an assertive, confident man. But there's a difference — learn it. And don't act out the latest porn vid you saw by, for example, slapping her butt while you fuck her from behind. Trashy. Major turn-off.
10. DON'T kick her out or leave unless she signals that she wants that. It makes even a one-night-stand lover feel cheap, feel like a whore (in a bad way). Hold her after the first time. Cuddle. Do it all over again. Send her roses the next day like the class act you are.
I'm sure my female readers have some additional advice to add.
1. DO be a great kisser. Kissing is very important to women, much more so than to most men. It's more than a prelude, more than foreplay. Learn to kiss her as she wants to be kissed; learn the different rhythms and styles. A light kiss and nose-to-nose rubbing can be a great start. Take her face gently into your hands. Use your tongue gradually, teasingly. Spend time with this. Kiss her beforehand, during the act and afterward. As she opens up, kiss her deeply, let your tongues play together. Kiss her ears, neck...wrists are very sensitive. Act as if you could spend the whole night kissing her.
2. DO spend time with foreplay. There are always quickies and up-against-the-wall or bent-over-the-sofa fucks. But usually, women need to be warmed up, and the right foreplay is as important as fucking itself. Learn how she likes to have her breasts loved on — I like my pert nipples to be sucked hard, but not every woman does; some have such sensitive nipples the wrong kind of sucking can be painful. Circle the nipple with your tongue and go from there. Nibble on her belly, lick her navel and suck her toes, lick her legs, suck her fingers. Skin on skin. A light touch across her body.
3. DO take your time.
4. DO learn to be a great pussy licker. This is the only way many women can really have an authentic orgasm, or learn to open up to you and let go. And it's a great compensator if you come too fast or reach that age where you have a sudden erectile dysfunction. Tell her she has a beautiful pussy. Tell her you love her scent (not "smell").
5. DO fuck her missionary. Women love to look you in the eye and feel that connection. Try the "riding high" adaptation of this position, where you're putting pressure on her pubic bone and clit — it's a great feeling and can give many women an orgasm. Missionary is also a wonderful starter to then putting her legs over your shoulders and other positions. Then let her get on top and ride.
6. DO say her name as you fuck her. I love my name and love to hear it from a man who's inside me.
7. DO be slow and gentle at first, especially if you're well-endowed. Learn the moves and rhythms she responds to.
8. DON'T pull out suddenly after you come. It's a yucky feeling for a woman. Stay put and let your penis go flaccid while you kiss her and stroke her hair.
9. DON'T assume she wants to be taken roughly unless she sends you some clear signals. Most women don't, especially at first. They do want an assertive, confident man. But there's a difference — learn it. And don't act out the latest porn vid you saw by, for example, slapping her butt while you fuck her from behind. Trashy. Major turn-off.
10. DON'T kick her out or leave unless she signals that she wants that. It makes even a one-night-stand lover feel cheap, feel like a whore (in a bad way). Hold her after the first time. Cuddle. Do it all over again. Send her roses the next day like the class act you are.
I'm sure my female readers have some additional advice to add.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Advice for better cunnilingus
I received an email from a man who said he loved going down on women, he could do it "for three or four hours," and he wondered why some women didn't like cunnilingus.
My advice was, first, most women don't want you down there for three or four hours. We couldn't handle it. But I give an A for effort. A man who loves cunnilingus is on his way to being a good lover. But...he's got to take his time. For example, don't underestimate the value of foreplay and kissing (there are hundreds of different ways to kiss and caress alone). Be willing to heat her up once you go down there, too. Different tongue strokes...tongue fucking. Become very plugged in to what she's feeling and go with it.
Below is an old post I did on this subject on The Fellatrices. One more thing: some women are fucked up about cunnilingus -- it's "nasty to put your mouth down there" or they are afraid to lose control. With the right foreplay and communications, you might be able to break through this barrier (and she will always love you for it). Otherwise, beware. You will have a sex life that is highly constrained and slowly dies.
Otherwise, here's advice for the Fluent Cunnilinguist:
You gentlemen want blowjobs. But it’s better to give than to receive. And if you want to receive, you’d better be good at giving.
I can’t speak for any woman but myself, but I love to have my pussy licked. Show me a good cunnilinguist, and I’ll show you a man whose dick I will happily, greedily worship with my mouth.I can’t speak for any woman but myself, but I love to have my pussy licked. Show me a good cunnilinguist, and I’ll show you a man whose dick I will happily, greedily worship with my mouth.
Here’s what I don’t want: A man who hurriedly licks my vagina, like it’s an ice cream cone, for a few seconds before he fucks me. I had a couple of those in college and even then I knew I was being dissed. Later, I wasn’t shy about demanding more, and if I didn’t get it, then the Detonate Relationship light was flashing red.
A good cunnilinguist loves women and their vaginas. It’s that simple. It’s that rare.
If you want to make love to me, be willing to take your time with my pussy. Can you kiss me, I mean really kiss me? Light brushes on my lips, deep, passionate tongue kisses. Then kiss and nibble my ears…I’m already getting wet.
Take your time. Take off my clothes the way you lusted after me in them, maybe with urgency, maybe teasingly, brushing the fabric across my nipples. Linger over my panties. Can you kiss me all over, suck my nipples and caress my breasts, lick and suck my toes, kiss and nibble on the inside of my thighs? You’ll have me moaning by then, and a lesser man might climb on and slide inside. But not you, my love.
No, you will lightly pass your face across my pussy, taking in my scent. You say you love that. As I lie there, spread open and vulnerable, you say I’m beautiful. I feel your tongue ever so lightly across my clit, just a taste, just a sample. Then I feel you exploring my labia with your tongue, all around, for a long time. You gently open my lips. You raise my legs and put my feet on your shoulders, the better to tongue-fuck me, going as deep as you can. I feel your tongue catching my juices as they flow to my perineum. You know how sensitive I am there, so you linger. One hand reaches up and gently teases my nipples. You stroke my thighs.
All this takes time. You are in no hurry, my love.
Only later do you start to work on my clit, first with very faint circles with the tip of your tongue. Then you go away again, sliding that tongue inside me, mapping all the folds of my pussy, before returning, again and again, each time changing the rhythm. Urgency takes me higher, but then you back off. I may even try to grind against you, but you are in no hurry. You may make me wait a bit more. God, I want to come! Wait, wait, not too fast, make it last! You are connected to me, sensing all this.
I shudder, holding your head, stroking your hair. My feet start to burn. I need to hold your hands now, need you to be with me, and you instinctively know this. We hold hands as you make circles with the flat edge of your tongue, now with more pressure. You use the same edge to move up and down my slit, now always returning to the clit. I have lost time now, the edges of my eyes flash with colors. You are doing things I can’t see, things I don’t have time to process, because you have made me lose myself. You took me up and slowed, up and slowed, but now it’s too late. I can’t suppress my screams, even if the neighbors hear…
You know when I am wrung out and you gently kiss my pussy, lick my thighs. You come up and hold me tight. You know I will get to you, Love, and it will be so good on the way to getting that full load shot down my throat.
My advice was, first, most women don't want you down there for three or four hours. We couldn't handle it. But I give an A for effort. A man who loves cunnilingus is on his way to being a good lover. But...he's got to take his time. For example, don't underestimate the value of foreplay and kissing (there are hundreds of different ways to kiss and caress alone). Be willing to heat her up once you go down there, too. Different tongue strokes...tongue fucking. Become very plugged in to what she's feeling and go with it.
Below is an old post I did on this subject on The Fellatrices. One more thing: some women are fucked up about cunnilingus -- it's "nasty to put your mouth down there" or they are afraid to lose control. With the right foreplay and communications, you might be able to break through this barrier (and she will always love you for it). Otherwise, beware. You will have a sex life that is highly constrained and slowly dies.
Otherwise, here's advice for the Fluent Cunnilinguist:
You gentlemen want blowjobs. But it’s better to give than to receive. And if you want to receive, you’d better be good at giving.
I can’t speak for any woman but myself, but I love to have my pussy licked. Show me a good cunnilinguist, and I’ll show you a man whose dick I will happily, greedily worship with my mouth.I can’t speak for any woman but myself, but I love to have my pussy licked. Show me a good cunnilinguist, and I’ll show you a man whose dick I will happily, greedily worship with my mouth.
Here’s what I don’t want: A man who hurriedly licks my vagina, like it’s an ice cream cone, for a few seconds before he fucks me. I had a couple of those in college and even then I knew I was being dissed. Later, I wasn’t shy about demanding more, and if I didn’t get it, then the Detonate Relationship light was flashing red.
A good cunnilinguist loves women and their vaginas. It’s that simple. It’s that rare.
If you want to make love to me, be willing to take your time with my pussy. Can you kiss me, I mean really kiss me? Light brushes on my lips, deep, passionate tongue kisses. Then kiss and nibble my ears…I’m already getting wet.
Take your time. Take off my clothes the way you lusted after me in them, maybe with urgency, maybe teasingly, brushing the fabric across my nipples. Linger over my panties. Can you kiss me all over, suck my nipples and caress my breasts, lick and suck my toes, kiss and nibble on the inside of my thighs? You’ll have me moaning by then, and a lesser man might climb on and slide inside. But not you, my love.
No, you will lightly pass your face across my pussy, taking in my scent. You say you love that. As I lie there, spread open and vulnerable, you say I’m beautiful. I feel your tongue ever so lightly across my clit, just a taste, just a sample. Then I feel you exploring my labia with your tongue, all around, for a long time. You gently open my lips. You raise my legs and put my feet on your shoulders, the better to tongue-fuck me, going as deep as you can. I feel your tongue catching my juices as they flow to my perineum. You know how sensitive I am there, so you linger. One hand reaches up and gently teases my nipples. You stroke my thighs.
All this takes time. You are in no hurry, my love.
Only later do you start to work on my clit, first with very faint circles with the tip of your tongue. Then you go away again, sliding that tongue inside me, mapping all the folds of my pussy, before returning, again and again, each time changing the rhythm. Urgency takes me higher, but then you back off. I may even try to grind against you, but you are in no hurry. You may make me wait a bit more. God, I want to come! Wait, wait, not too fast, make it last! You are connected to me, sensing all this.
I shudder, holding your head, stroking your hair. My feet start to burn. I need to hold your hands now, need you to be with me, and you instinctively know this. We hold hands as you make circles with the flat edge of your tongue, now with more pressure. You use the same edge to move up and down my slit, now always returning to the clit. I have lost time now, the edges of my eyes flash with colors. You are doing things I can’t see, things I don’t have time to process, because you have made me lose myself. You took me up and slowed, up and slowed, but now it’s too late. I can’t suppress my screams, even if the neighbors hear…
You know when I am wrung out and you gently kiss my pussy, lick my thighs. You come up and hold me tight. You know I will get to you, Love, and it will be so good on the way to getting that full load shot down my throat.
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