Monday, August 31, 2009


As the poll shows, readers have their share of insecurities. I sympathize especially with the guys who have to follow a better-endowed lover. There's an itch you can't scratch. It's not the same as a small-breasted girl. I realized early on that the world is full of legs-and-ass men, who appreciate what my body has to offer. And also men who love small, pert breasts with prominent nipples, like mine -- in fact, some guys are turned off by huge tits. (For those who are total "tit men," there's my sister Amber). Still, I stand by my contention that a good lover can have an average or even small penis and lots of crappy lovers have big dicks.

As a former cheerleader who can still proudly get in her uniform -- and does, for appreciative men -- I also get the former cheerleader insecurity. As much as you want to say, "Hey, I was a national merit scholar finalist, not some cheerleader bimbo," men have a cheerleader jones. (And I was a national merit scholar finalist, too). For the guys, I added fighter pilot, but I'm sure there are others...rock musician, author, whatever.

Maybe the realest thing is "he or she won't do the things they did with the previous lover." This is a killer. I've never been that way -- although I won't let Chad try to fuck me in the ass, yet. No offense to him, I'm just too young for a colonoscopy! But I've had plenty of girlfriends who pulled this crap with new lovers, and then were shocked that he was hurt or pissed off. One, another Linda, had a drawer full of sexy lingerie -- but wouldn't wear it or buy new stuff for the very nice man she started dating. She did wear it for the bad boys.

Crying out the wrong name! This was how I discovered my ex-husband was cheating on me. My name is not Rachel. It made me crazy, but it also made me territorial horny, which is an extremely high state of arousal. Nowadays, I probably would have let him have her -- even invite her into our bed. But I was younger and more old fashioned then. I've never called another man's name...and guys really like it when you call their name while being fucked. Women, too. I love to hear my name whispered...or shouted as he comes inside me or shoots into my mouth. I had a friend, Jennifer, who made the mistake of calling out her husband's business partner while hubby was fucking her from behind. They weren't an item, but she was hot for him, facing forward away from her husband, letting her fantasy life run wild, and...woops. I'll cop to thinking about other men while getting fucked or licked, even a sexy guy I saw on the street.

Friends can be problematic. I've continued to fuck old boyfriends after we were officially seeing other people -- sometimes for years. I even fucked my ex-husband a few times after our spectacular, jealous-psycho bitch breakup. The sex was incredibly hot... Of course my new lovers didn't know.

The race and same-sex thing doesn't matter to me. Never has. Indeed, it's kind of sexy. But lots of people don't share that, even if they won't admit it. What's your insecurity or the ghost in your bedroom? The comments section awaits...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Younger men, scheming a 3-some, older women

Playing with Chad. Sometimes when he sleeps, I watch him with his lean, young body and his youthful face and I think: God, this is strange. I'm soon to turn 40 and here I am in bed with this...boy. Just a random thought. But when I wake him with a blowjob and see that magnificent cock spring to life, all those adult thoughts go away.

I've never been a deep-throater. I know some men get off on that, but my gag reflex is too sensitive. He seems very happy to have me get about a third of him in my mouth, then lick his shaft all over, then suck his head while I jerk him off with my hand, then use the other one to stroke his balls. He really likes this. If he's fucking me on top, I reach around and stroke his tight sack and in just a few moments he's shaking and moaning and then coming. Love all that come, whether it's in my pussy or my stomach. Older men have their charms, but generating lots of semen isn't one of them.

Chad is a gentle lover and I want to reinforce this with him. He could really hurt a girl. He could drive them off. In fact, he told me about a girl his age who saw his penis and called the whole thing off right there. She was too afraid to have him inside her. I keep trying different positions, but still can't get him all the way inside. Just can't. Oh, but it feels least once we get going. It does hurt at first, every time. It's like I am revirginating. I tilt my pelvis and relax and take more in. I've tried different tilts as he fucks me from behind. Still can't take him all. He's not complaining. My best move is riding him, with me almost up on his belly and my legs trailing behind. That way I can be in total contact, but take as much of him as I can, riding up and back, over and over. I couldn't just sit on him.

I am scheming. What about a threesome with Wendy? Oh, my sweet friend is both fragile and growing more and more adventurous. She is getting horny now that she's really having orgasms and realizing sex can be pleasurable for her. I may broach this.

Readers ask. What's my favorite penis length. I like them all. Honestly -- and I mean this -- what's attached to the cock is what's most important. A man who is: intelligent; giving; communicative; interested in me and the world; can talk about books and ideas, and if I wish, take me out to the symphony dressed to the nines (and enjoy it). Sure, I've played with bad boys, but everybody has their deviant streak. An old lover, a college professor, sometimes bedded university (female) cops with high-school diplomas. As a lover, he must be giving -- must really be into giving me pleasure, especially orally. He must be loving, as in holding me after I come. This is possible in all shapes and sizes. All things considered, I'd take a thick eight-incher (which is well bigger than average, contrary to what you see on the Web). But it often doesn't work that way. Many guys with big cocks think all they have to do is show up. Some of my very best lovers have been average and even smaller, but highly skilled.

Readers ask. They're young men who want to bed older women. The appeal is real: Older women are often more sensual; they're past their "I'm the center of the universe" solipsism of young things; they're open to sexual pleasure. First thing: Don't break their hearts. It's a long way down at our age. Be honest about what you're after. Generally, these women will want "mature" young men -- guys who like women, who are good listeners and communicators, who are smart and read books, who clean up well and can dress better than ghetto hoods. In bed, they want someone who will give pleasure, not just take. Many have been through selfish marriages, with a guy who just humps them. Learn to love giving oral sex to a woman. She can tell if you love it. And she will reward you. Often intellectual guys have only or predominantly had older lovers until their reach their thirties -- the women their age when they are 18 or 25 just aren't interested; but the older women are. Be careful if she's still married; it may be a great match -- she's not going to want to marry you and you can be her boy toy, but make sure she can be discreet, and hubby is at a safe distance. As I say, be gentle and honest. Enjoy!