I have entered the "no fuck" zone for awhile. I am wearing slacks and longer skirts, avoiding bars and parties, keeping my intimidating game face on at work.
I am horny as hell.
But I need a breather, after a wild affair with Mike that I didn't expect or (I tell myself) intend, and then with Josh, which I really didn't intend. But I've loved every man I ever slept with, after my fashion, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling kicked to the curb. Even my friend Kathleen isn't treating me the same, now that she's getting that magnificent Mike dick every night. Well, good for her. I did enjoy that one night of giving her a first dose of little girl love.
I think about Josh with his frosty blond fiance Lindsey and say, good luck getting her to suck your cock the way I did. And to swallow every drop. Good luck having her ready for the next round when you want more. Hell, he'll probably marry her. Who knows better at that age?
Two cheers for younger men. I will miss Mike's washboard abs, ready erection and strong stream of semen. Older men have their own charms, but those usually aren't among them. Josh wasn't as big, but he was also an Energizer Bunny in bed, and I loved feeling that powerful spurt in my mouth. And unlike Josh, Mike really had stamina. He could FUCK, Dear Diary, and not every man can. He knew how to vary his strokes and thrusts and make you beg for more. And then he could just bend me over and take me in the most selfish way, and yet it was still a turn-on.
And yet, they were both immature in their ways, and even after the Glory Fuck of My Life I still want a man who can engage my mind. Mike's hood-ish side would have come to repel me, or worse, to bore me.
Am I a latent submissive? That's what a friend asked upon hearing about this adventure. Honestly, I don't know. I did enjoy being "taken" by Mike, but maybe that's because he knew just how to play it. He fucked me hard, refused to do things my way, anally "raped" me...but he never went too far. And maybe I was ready for a change after my steady, once-a-week-missionary-style boyfriend of late.
The truth is, I am a junkie for the new, for stimulus, for constant change, for breaking taboos and for danger. And my young men with their eager young cocks provided that. And they gave me my first threesomes.
Soon, I'll be ready for more trouble. It will probably find me.
4 comments:
Hello,
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Hey,
Your "Feeling horny in the abstinence zone" post really hit home. I am a man, well, to be honest, a boy in a man's body - unable to act like a man and take a woman. My lover so wants to be taken. She wants and needs to be taken. I am not sure I can be that man. I want to. Desperatly. With ever fiber of my mind. But my demons say otherwise.
You post casues me to revert back to that little scared kid who doesn't know shit about girls and who is afraid to do anything about it.
Is it any wonder I'm married to a sexless, selfish female?
Broken, from start to finish. And it hurts.
Callbox,
Every situation is different. Maybe you should talk to your lover and work through it that way. Maybe you should just reach over in bed and start messaging her nipples and go from there. I think a man has to have a sure grasp of nuance to "take" a woman and have her like it, and know when "no" is no.
But being with a dead battery is hell. I've been there.
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