Monday, April 28, 2008

Open thread on this week's poll

What is it in your sexual past that you wouldn't tell your current partner or spouse? I never told my ex-husband about my trip to the lifestyle club in college. He was sensitive about his size -- he needn't have been -- so I never told him I had been fucked by bigger penises. These may be small potatoes to some of the answers I see. OTOH...I have had lovers who wanted to know everything, and we have reveled in that. Thank God I have never been raped, and had to carry the burden of whether to tell my partner or not. Care to share your experiences, and why you don't feel you can tell your lover?

20 comments:

Gretchen said...

I had a love affair with a woman before I met my current husband. It was very sexy and fulfilling, and I continue to see her occasionally. He's a good man, but is very conservative, has no sense of kink whatever. So I could never tell him

Anonymous said...

Was in a thresome when I was younger. Wife definitely does NOT want to know details of my old life. Too bad. We could have fun

Anonymous said...

I have a somewhat different take on all this.

My wife and I, once Valentine's night, lubricated by drinks and pot, agreed to tell our most outrageous sex story. I told mine, and after some hesitation, she told her's.

She had been gang-raped in college by four members of the football team. She never reported it. She blamed herself, and was afraid her family would go bonkers and disown her.

I had (have) very complicated feelings about this. I am heartsick and outraged for the woman I love. But god help me, it's also arousing. As we've played the game again, I've pulled more details out. I think she has complicated feelings about it, too. Anyway, all the players were black, and they all took multiple turns with her. Hearing it makes me sick and aroused at the same time.

I'm not a racist, but the idea of black men with my fair,natural blonde wife really blows my mind. There's something so sexual about a black athlete, just like there's something so sexual about a pretty young blonde. And them taking her and having her. I think about it a lot. I try to love her gently and respectfully, always have. We're okay. But a part of me is always on this. I'm afraid to ask her all the feelings she has, but maybe someday I will.

Just Susan said...

I was raped in a parking garage when I was 20. I would never tell my husband because of the man above. He couldn't handle it. Men are weird that way. It was a crime of VIOLENCE and not sexy and for years I couldn't feel anything inside. Now I've reclaimed my sexual side and love it. But my husband doesn't need to know about that horrible night.

Anonymous said...

It was before we were married.

Couple of times: once on a trip to the mountains, outdoors in the field, the cock filling my mouth, the cum filling it too. Then, once in the bedroom filling other spaces.

I've told her I *could* be bi, but *could* is probably not the whole truth.

I love her very much. It was a long time ago.

Anonymous said...

I've been married less than a year. My wife knows I had sex with other women before we met but doesn't approve of casual sex even though I went down on her during our first date thinking she might just be yet another entry in my casual sex journal. I've never told her just how promiscuous I was before we met, especially the frequency with which I was meeting women, most of whom were one-night stands, which was how I wanted to live my life at that time. Now my life has moved on and I'm happy being married. Though I would never let her know I've been reading your web site. ;)

AJ

Anonymous said...

Luv ur blog, Linda. My secret life is an affair with my secretary -- pretty boring, huh?

RollnRubbr said...

I had an old girlfriend who was date raped. I was very upset for her and wanted to do anything I could to help her. She told me long after the fact but I was still devastated for her. I called the college help line for rape victims so I could ask another woman how to help, which was very helpful to me. I don't know though how much I helped my love. I've never been sure if she appreciated my concern or not. I never thought of her as damaged in any way and I loved her even more because she shared that with me. I didn't dwell on it, especially with her, but I think it might have actually caused her to pull away from me. I'll never know. I just hope it wasn't something I did or said that pushed her away.

sonya said...

I had a 3-some with two other men and loved it. I know my husband would kill me if he knew, so i'll never tell him.

Gerry Attric said...

About the time that I met my wife I often enjoy visiting the gay bath houses in the SF area and sucking cocks and getting sucked all night. Ny favorite sexual activity is sucking on the clitoris of a cock-filled pussy until the woman comes several times beforethe guys slips out of her to come in my mouth.

Beth said...

I fucked three guys at a party when I was in college, and I loved every second of it. I was dating several men at the same time. Had a hot little affair with another girl. Memories of it make my dull soccer mom/drive the kids in the van days more interesting. Would I tell my husband? Are you kidding??

Anonymous said...

My second (ex)wife and I had a very athletic and somewhat kinky sex life. Basically anything was fair game. She was very oral, into anal,straight sex,roleplay,erotic dress, car sex, talking nasty and she was immensely orgasmic. She was more that willing to view porn and use a strap-on with me as the "bottom".
We had sex sometimes 4-5 times a day and she easily gave me head 4-5 times a week (if not more).
That has been a difficult relationship to put in perspective. I felt I had finally met someone whose sex drive was the mirror of mine.
Maybe I am a borderline sex addict, but I do know the difference between a "fuck" and a "hot fuck"....she was very much the latter.
It is also difficult now when I date someone to have them ask:"what is your fantasy" when you know that if I spilled the above that would probably be like giving them a drink out of a fire hydrant.
BTW-Love your column

Lynda said...

I would never tell my husband about bring a prostitute. He doesn't even know I was a dancer. He loves my moves, and maybe his sixth sense keeps him from asking how I got them. Hey, it paid for college.

Anonymous said...

Here's what I won't tell my boyfriend, and never told my ex-husband. When I was a senior in high school, I was very wild and went to a party with some college guys who were friends of my brother. One of the guys I had a crush on took me in one of the bedrooms and fucked me. Afterward, I kind of passed out, and woke up with a new man climbing on top, slipping in my cummy pussy. I couldn't see a thing -- the room was dark. but he fucked me too, and two more just like that. I thought I was the fuck queen,all these college studs wanting me, and way more skilled than the high school boys. I got fucked in every position, came repeatedly, and sucked off one. Finally, I hear the door open and another guy slides into bed next to me. I'm kind of into the mystery of it all, and keep my eyes closed, let him seduce me, pretty soon he enters me. He's BIG and ithurts for awhile, but then I really started liking it and came again, and he cums inside me. Just then somebody turns on the light and everybody's laughing. It's my older brother! OMG...we're both just blown away. He gets off me so fast and beats up one of the guys before the others pull him off. I guess he just heard there was this high school girl fucking everybody and he came in. Thank God I was on the pill. We never mentioned it, ever. But I still can't help noticing his crotch when the family gets together. Crazy 70s...

Anonymous said...

This is a subject I would like to discuss with your readers.

I'm an author; most of my work involves character studies; IE how different people relate to particular events.

My current project is a novel about a young woman who seduces her father. I would like to speak with people who have had consensual incest with a close relative, especially women, particularly if they are the ones who initiated the relationship.

The goal of this discussion is purely for my own edification; your stories will not become part of this novel; I seek merely to ensure a level of authenticity to my work. To that end I have set up a weblog, at http://lengthsandlengthsoflove.blogspot.com/ to which you readers can reply to the questions posted there

Anything discussed there will remain anonymous. This blog is unlisted and you may reply anonymously.

Anonymous said...

I have been told by several girls that I have a big dick. That's fine, if they like it, I like it. BUT I think it is hot if they've been with guys who are bigger than me. One of my exes was a slut and she used to tell me about the guys she had fucked who were bigger than me and I loved it.

Kathy, still a bad girl said...

I seduced my step-father when I was 15. I was acting out anger at my mom, and he was a very attractive, athletic man. I wanted to see if I could do it, and I did. Later, when I was in college, we had a full-blown affair for a couple of years. Yes, I asked him how my mom was in bed--I was better!

dickie dick said...

Ok...I slept with my male college professor once....(I'm a guy). He was hot for me and invited me over one time when my wife was away and his wife was away....he seduced me but I went along with it. I had a lot to drink and don't remember a lot of it....there was no penetration...lots of DFK, he gave me a HJ and a BJ....Woke up the next day with a hugh hangover...never drank scotch since.
My wife suspected something cause she's got great "gaydar" and knew this guy was hot for me and that if I slept there something happened.
She knows I'm a real slut when I've got a hard on and that is a fairly constant state...specially when I drink.
Never told anyone this...Linda you bring out the beast in me.
LOVE YOUR BLOG!!
dickie

Brooke said...

Seven men took turns with me after I was given a date-rape drug at a bar. I don't remember much. It hurt after awhile. They're still in prison. I love sex.

Anonymous said...

lots of things. got my cousin off in a hot tub once. masturbated in the alter (going to hell, i'm sure). ran a mile through the neighborhood without running shorts. get off while driving. rub my cock while getting a haircut, since it is under the cape. go on nude walks in the greenbelt.