Thursday, April 21, 2011

Tips for women, part 1

What's good for the guys is good for the girls. So I'll offer some advice to the distaff. As the comments on the previous post showed, not everyone will agree. These are just my takes after a lifetime of screwing.

1. DO know your bottom line and act accordingly. Do you want to play with no strings. Really? Do you need a transitional man to fuck your brains out while you forget your EX. Are you wanting marriage and children? Are you acting out of a ticking biological clock? You need to know and act accordingly. If your fuck-buddy doesn't want to get married and you stick around when that's your real desire — blame yourself. Same thing if you marry some guy who you think will produce good children, then end up unhappy because he has nothing in common with you and/or is a jerk.

2. DO praise his cock. Don't be insincere and tell a little guy he's huge, but there's always something nice and real to say. Men love this.

3. DO give blowjobs and swallow. Learn how to suck cock. He will be putty in your hands.

4. DO fuck him back. Don't just lie there. Work your pelvis, run your legs against his body, wrap them around him, get in the rhythm in whatever position, flip over and ride him. You'll have fun, too.

5. DO tell him what you like, and what you need so you can enjoy yourself and come.

6. DO be open to things. That doesn't mean you should submit to anal sex, for example, if you've tried it and hated it. Be up front about that. But don't shut yourself off from new experiences, much less be like some women I've known who refuse to let men perform cunnilingus on them. And remember, men judge the quality of the relationship to a huge degree on the sex! Sure, get him to be a communicator, etc. But don't forget...sex.

7. DO dress sexy. For me, that means miniskirts, stockings, garterbelts, merrywidows and corsets, etc. For a special guy: My cheerleader outfit.

8. DON'T fake an orgasm. Ever.

9. DON'T tell him the actual number of lovers you've had unless 1) It's really a fling and you don't care or 2) You really get to know him and he can handle it if you've had more than a handful. Or maybe you have actually had a handful; then you're safer. "Who was your best?" "You, baby."

10. DON'T ask him a question about his sexual past if you can't handle the answer.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's interesting that you focus so much on the emotional side for women. Very wise.

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of these, especially 5. One of my girlfriends got mad at me for not stroking her ears during sex, which was a flaw that all of her previous boyfriends had. I asked her if she'd told them that she wanted it, and she said she hadn't (she didn't tell me, either); we were just supposed to know somehow.

Anonymous said...

I have something to add: do not EVER take advice from Cosmo. I do not know a single man who likes to have his scrotum bitten, his penis played with like a joystick (no, not even gamers like that), his pubic hair yanked, his penis given an Indian burn, or his balls shaken like dice. Just...don't. Some of those could put us in the hospital.

Cum Addict said...

gotta agree with all of these. girls never are upfront about what they want (even I'm guilty of that sometimes), they lie to themselves about what they expect from a guy, too many are lazy in bed (I could never imagine just laying there, but I've always been a thruster and god knows I love oral), etc etc. Love this post, Linda Sue

tercew said...

4, 5, and 6 are about the best pieces of advice you can give someone about improving their sex life. thanks...

Tuesday said...

As Alice would say, "Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

So much easier said than done.

hans said...

Good ones.
I´ll add another one:

12. Don´t get fat, but don´t turn into a crazy bulimic stick person either.

11. (was the above anonym) Ignore COSMO! Like the Satan´s bible it is.

hans said...

Actually here´s a very great blog with even more tips.
NOT necessarily for married gals only!

Girl Game

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