Monday, April 11, 2011

Tips for men, part 1

And just when you thought this was becoming a porn site, back to prose. (And, by the way, some of the pics here are indeed me — you just have to use your imagination as to which ones.) I am sorry to report, after much research, that most men are mediocre-to-bad lovers. My girlfriends tell me this about their husbands and boyfriends, too. But all is not lost. Be a lifetime learner. Here are ten pieces of advice.

1. DO be a great kisser. Kissing is very important to women, much more so than to most men. It's more than a prelude, more than foreplay. Learn to kiss her as she wants to be kissed; learn the different rhythms and styles. A light kiss and nose-to-nose rubbing can be a great start. Take her face gently into your hands. Use your tongue gradually, teasingly. Spend time with this. Kiss her beforehand, during the act and afterward. As she opens up, kiss her deeply, let your tongues play together. Kiss her ears, neck...wrists are very sensitive. Act as if you could spend the whole night kissing her.

2. DO spend time with foreplay. There are always quickies and up-against-the-wall or bent-over-the-sofa fucks. But usually, women need to be warmed up, and the right foreplay is as important as fucking itself. Learn how she likes to have her breasts loved on — I like my pert nipples to be sucked hard, but not every woman does; some have such sensitive nipples the wrong kind of sucking can be painful. Circle the nipple with your tongue and go from there. Nibble on her belly, lick her navel and suck her toes, lick her legs, suck her fingers. Skin on skin. A light touch across her body.

3. DO take your time.

4. DO learn to be a great pussy licker. This is the only way many women can really have an authentic orgasm, or learn to open up to you and let go. And it's a great compensator if you come too fast or reach that age where you have a sudden erectile dysfunction. Tell her she has a beautiful pussy. Tell her you love her scent (not "smell").

5. DO fuck her missionary. Women love to look you in the eye and feel that connection. Try the "riding high" adaptation of this position, where you're putting pressure on her pubic bone and clit — it's a great feeling and can give many women an orgasm. Missionary is also a wonderful starter to then putting her legs over your shoulders and other positions. Then let her get on top and ride.

6. DO say her name as you fuck her. I love my name and love to hear it from a man who's inside me.

7. DO be slow and gentle at first, especially if you're well-endowed. Learn the moves and rhythms she responds to.

8. DON'T pull out suddenly after you come. It's a yucky feeling for a woman. Stay put and let your penis go flaccid while you kiss her and stroke her hair.

9. DON'T assume she wants to be taken roughly unless she sends you some clear signals. Most women don't, especially at first. They do want an assertive, confident man. But there's a difference — learn it. And don't act out the latest porn vid you saw by, for example, slapping her butt while you fuck her from behind. Trashy. Major turn-off.

10. DON'T kick her out or leave unless she signals that she wants that. It makes even a one-night-stand lover feel cheap, feel like a whore (in a bad way). Hold her after the first time. Cuddle. Do it all over again. Send her roses the next day like the class act you are.

I'm sure my female readers have some additional advice to add.


T said...

Don't send roses if she is just a one night stand or fuck buddy. It'll make me think you want something more serious.
Otherwise excellent tips!

Anonymous said...

Well... not ALL women think it's trashy & major turn-off to slap her ass while you fuck her. Personally if you're fucking me from behind and DON'T slap my ass or pull my hair I'm going to be slightly disappointed. I think the key there is don't make any "porn moves" that aren't natural or if you don't know if your partner is into it.

CS said...

I was wondering about the flowers. I feel like that would give the wrong impression from a one night stand.

Anonymous said...

Could we also have a "tips for women" series? It's quite unfair to expect men to do all the work, and quite frankly, there are a lot of women out there who do a pretty lousy job (by which I mean just lying there).

Cleo said...

If she is a sex buddy then roses are probably not a good idea and i love my ass slapped and hair pulled its such a turn on

Cleo x

Anonymous said...

How sad. That any man doesn't delight in the only type of pleasure that will enflame each and every one of his senses;
Her perfume, her taste, the feeling of differing textures within and without her,the sights that unfold before him and, to me, especially her sounds. The pleasure she can feel heightens mine.
The missing out on this is something no man should suffer.
Come on boys!! Love her pussy as much as she does. You'll love it too.

tom said...

Very interesting for the insightful and noteworthy nuances.Something every man should read before each sexual rendezvous. Like everything else , sex will be enjoyable and relishing, if we are curious,exploring and experimenting like a learner. The special mention of missionary ,hints that its is the most popular and favorite position.

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