Licking pussy

Things worked out well for my colleague. She followed my advice on fellatio, given verbally and with the Stakeout Banana, as we call it, and her boyfriend came after two minutes and said it was the best blowjob he ever had. She enjoyed it, too, and I can see her confidence growing. My bet is she'll want to try out her new-found talent elsewhere, not that I am encouraging such slutty Linda Sue behavior.

Ah, but there's a rub. Her boyfriend doesn't like cunnilingus. He does it, a few licks "like he's licking an ice-cream cone," and then he wants to climb on top and fuck her. This won't do. How many times do I have to say that oral sex goes both ways, must go both ways. Being a master cunnilinguist is a requirement to be my lover (beyond a quick romp where we never get that far, say where you bend me over and fuck me and we never see each other again...oh, sorry, I lost my train of thought).

So, pay attention men:

DO learn to love her vagina: The shape of her lips, their prominence, her scent, her juices, your juices mingled together, her pubic hair, perineum and anus. Women can tell if you're really into it, or if you're just doing it out of duty. If you're really into her private parts, it will make her more sensual and open to all sorts of fun.

DO tell her she's beautiful once you're "down there." She is.

DO take your time. I love it when a man works on my breasts a long time, then licks and kisses my abdomen and belly button, barely caressing his face across my pussy...then sucking my toes and kissing up each leg, up to my pussy and, again, barely touching my pussy before getting down to business.

DON'T go immediately for the clitoris. This may be too intense for many women. And you're cheating yourself out of much more...

DO spent time licking and gently sucking on her pussy lips Run your tongue around them. Revel in every detail (the right lip is bigger than the left, etc.).

DO tongue-fuck her. A man burying his face in my pussy and running his tongue in and our is sometimes enough in itself to drive me over the edge. Of course, his nose is also pushing against my clit as he does this.

DO use your hands. Caress her belly and legs, hold her hips, and as things really heat up (pay attention now) hold her hands. Most of us want that hand-holding connection.

DO learn the right approach for her clit. Start with a very light circling of it with your tongue and see how she responds. Some women want only that. Others will respond in a way that tells you it's okay to apply more pressure. Some like it when you suck their clits once they're aroused (me, among them). Vary things: Circle-lick her clit and go back to her lips or tongue-fucking her. Try licking her perineum and see if that pleases her. Keep coming back to the clitoris. Use different edges of your tongue: The tip, flat edge, side.

DO follow her responses and act accordingly. She'll relax more and let you in, set a rhythm, respond, get more and more aroused. When she starts to come, DON'T STOP! Keep going. You may want to let up the pressure a little. I'd probably be grinding my pelvis into your face.

Understand cunnilingus is different for most women than a blowjob is for men. Any guy wants his cock sucked. Many women have been conditioned to think "it's dirty down there," or they are afraid of losing control. So there's a major trust issue involved with many. You have to show you're trustworthy. Among other things that means being patient, slowly seducing her by kissing and licking her legs and belly, etc. Once you're good, you can move on to all sorts of fun: Face sitting, using toys, sixty-nine, licking her while another man fucks her. But it all begins with knowing expert tongue worship.

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