Friday, February 20, 2009

The black lonelies

Lady's got the blues. I had to work Valentine's Day, and the Lt. and I had planned to meet at my place that night. He didn't show. Didn't call. I guess I've done worse, but I prefer to be the first to walk away. God, I am fighting this feeling of being old and unattractive -- so immature. I called him once and left a message. I won't call again. It's a shame: not that he was "the one" but because we hadn't enjoyed each other up yet. Times like this get me thinking about all those roads not taken. I could have had children and a "happily married life." I didn't want that...not with a dangerous career for mommy, not with my family's fuckupedness genes, not with me the way I am. I'll be fine. Shit...

13 comments:

RIV said...

I wish I had some good pearl of wisdom to share with you, but all I can offer is a virtual hug.
Dont look back at any opportunities that have gone by; the "what ifs" will get to you.

Get8More said...

You are still wanted more than you know...

Get8More said...

SEXY WOMAN!



my word verification: zingeree

Anonymous said...

You are probably my second favourite woman on the net. (My wife is my first by a longshot.)

Of course it will hurt, but it is his loss. Trust us when we say this, we have read your posts! And I mean not just physically, but emotionally as well. You are in touch with yourself, willing to look hard at what you are. Be proud of who you are. Loads here appreciate you, not just for your erotic honesty, but your honesty overall.

Anonymous said...

Based on the few glimpses I've seen here, I'm sure you're neither old nor unattractive.

Based on the spirit of your posts, you've got a fantastic attitude about sexuality and would likely be one of the best (if not the best) lovers a man could hope for.

Chin up, Linda.

Advizor said...

Is he "gone" because of one missed date?

I thought our military men were more loyal than that!

Keep hoping, and fight the black lonelies....

Southern Swinger said...

Don't give up so quick on the Lt. It has only been a week

hans said...

Well, you made your bed, had much fun in it. Now it´s time to lie in the wet spot.

I thought you had caught on to the feminist lie of eating the cake(making a career) and having it too (happy family&1.5 children).

Nevermind, you´ll get over the funk. He probably just got intimidated by your sexperience, and is back to fucking some dumb young floozie.

Steve Karmazenuk said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kspace said...

We all have regrets. I regret never having gone to film school. I regret never having slept with A---- when I had the chance. I regret selling my first book to a less-than-reputable publisher and pretty much killing my writing career.

The trick is to cherish what we do have, to take joy in what life has given us, and to stop grieving for that which will never be.

Doesn't mean we give up on our dreams, it just means we approach them realistically.

and my word verification for this comment is "explasm"...that just sounds violent and sexy.

Anonymous said...

Reading your thoughts and experiences, I am touched by your honesty and your openness. You live honestly or at least more than most of us, which leaves you particularly vulnerable. That the fellow left in that manner is sad; one suspects that it is more about him than about you, but still...that's rude and disappointing behavior on his part...and a mind and a soul f___. In a relatively short sequence, you've summed up the joy and the sadness of life. I know it's no solace in times of pain like this, but thanks all the same for living so relatively bravely.

Anonymous said...

You're sound like a very hot woman and from what I've read in your blog, you should have no problem finding a replacement stud, if only for NSA sex.

Keep your chin up!

Wanting said...

I'm quite sure I could make you understand how amazingly desirable you are. Just say the word!

Your profile picture alone fuels many of my fantasies. :)