Monday, January 14, 2013

The pickup artist

Between work and life it's difficult to keep up with this blog. But I get so many nice emails from men — and some women, that I'll keep trying.

So I've been trying to get my young man hooked up with women his age. We've been to bookstores, art galleries and even bars (which I don't think work that well). I've coached him. Before we go out, I give him a great cock-sucking, but I won't let him come. I want him to be motivated. So far, not much. He's not bad looking. He's smart and emotionally intelligent. We were at one gallery when he started talking to a woman, an attractive brunette, while I hovered in the distance. Pretty soon she's got her hand on his arm. As I paid more attention, I realized she was my age. So I went over and broke it up. He was mad at me, but for God's sake he doesn't need to go from one fortysomething to another. He's got his whole life ahead of him.

It made me call my ex-husband for advice. He reminded me that he never had luck with women his age when he was in his twenties. It was only in his thirties that he learned how to talk to women (get them talking about themselves, be a great listener, dress well) and flirt ("Linda? That's my favorite name"). He said if he could go back to his twenties with the knowledge he learned later he would have "cut a swath through the young womanhood of the East Coast). Instead, he was initiated into the arts of love by older women. "Don't let him fall in love with you," he cautioned.

Back to the problem at hand. I've made him talk about the girls in his classes that he lusts after. I've made him start to go to parties at school. He hates small talk. I'm trying to fix that. Young women don't want to talk about government dysfunction or the demise of the Whig Party. I keep coaching — and fucking him. I probably shouldn't do the latter, but he's safe and fun.

It is still hard for men. I've been hit on since I was thirteen. When I was in college, especially, I was so overwhelmed by the offers, come-ons and my own horniness that it just seemed like a blur of cocks inside me and my legs in the air. But unless a guy has a certain look and way of carrying himself when he's that age, say the cool bad dude persona, he likely won't get easy access to young women. Would I have been attracted to my young man when I was his age? Probably not. I was stupid.


Anonymous said...

He *is* in love with you. I know this, I have been there. I was 21. (And the worst part was, she was starting to fall for me and my being 21-and-an-idiot kept making her periodically miserable).

I can assure you, his heart leaps every time he sees you walk in the room, and he is going to keep being in love with you until you dump his ass and let him fly free. He is a smitten kitten.

hans said...

Ah jeez, is that the Disney white-knight mangina again?

Well done Linda on "the other" cougar.
Without you "young Master BigDickus" would´ve probably ended up falling victim to her baby rabies in no time.

Though please change your view on not keeping his balls drained before those dates. ;)
Especially the "young bucks" think much clearer without the testosterone level peg at "max fuel".

The "desperation" and the resulting case of "can´t keep the trap shut" usually leads to young guys talking themselves OUT of tail.

And fer-god-sakes, just make him wear thinner slacks instead of jeans. If he´s that gifted those young sluts will line up in no time.

No amount of coaching can really break down the pedestal in such brainwashed minds(see above).
Only cold hart facts can, meaning lots of young stupid pussy and the drama that comes with them.

Anonymous said...

Long time listener, first time caller. Hans is correct. You need to see to him before you leave him out in the wild. Young men do a lot better on dates when they've had release beforehand.

I speak from experience, The edge the horniness gives you makes you move too fast, You say the right words and make the right moves but a few minutes too soon.

Also I have to be honest 30 and 40 something women are usually the most attractive overall package. Generally they're more comfortable with themselves and they're much more likely to go to bed with you. This was the case in my twenties and still is as I approach 40.

Love your blog,


Anonymous said...

Hey Hans,

Nope, it's not me, it was someone else. Won't you learn just yet that there far are more of people like us (gentlemen who try) than there are of you (cads who use?

Disney? Nice! Yeah, my life has become a dream come true, but not after having first endured a quest over the first 40 years of my life, which makes that of Beren and Luthien look like a middle-school outing.

Linda, I'll take back what I said about taking him.

While I still think there should be no problem with the role reversal regarding age (I think such expectations are destructively sexist), the fact that you reality checked with one other source (ex-husband) aside from your own instincts regarding you not wanting this prodigy to fall in love with you, would seem into indicate that your approach is the correct one.

I suppose you are done with the possibility of finding someone to grow old along with, but no court in the world is going to convict you for trying no matter which barrel you scrape, if that's what you want to do some other day.

Luck to you, and to this young man.


Anonymous said...


Here's what happened to me. My first time happened when I was 19.

I had both autism and bipolar depression going against me, I also skipped 2 grades. I became a college junior at 18 years old and was emotionally shut down.

I then met a lady quite by accident who was 32 years old, a graduate student, a Renaissance lady, and we talked a lot.

After about a year passed as her friend and I turned 19, I took her to see my folks and introduced her. She pretty much remained silent as my mom ranted said thing to try to drive her away.

My mother felt I owed her my entire life for her saving me from being parked in an institution for my autism and wanted my loyalty to be only to her.

A few weeks later my friend prepared a surprise for me that I would never have expected from her in a million years.

She invited me to spend a week with her folks. So we drove over, she introduced me to our family, and after dinner and an entire evening's conversation, showed me where to shower and sleep, and told me she would see me tomorrow.

It was about 11:45 by the time I finally got into bed and laid my head down upon the pillow. Imagine my complete surprise when about 12:05 I heard my door open. My friend had come in, wearing not a stitch, and carrying a lit candle.

She walked toward me and sat on the bed. I was of course awakened by all this, and while I sat upright on the pillows everything up to my navel was covered by a sheet. We weren't touching at all, but we were close enough that we could.

My friend told me the my mother had become an evil person whose grip over my emotions and reactions was something my friend would no longer allow.

My friend said I had to learn to learn how to live for myself and not for others, and she wanted to break my mother's tyranny over me so that I could.

She said she only knew one way. She held out her arms toward me, waiting, and I fell into them.

After a lot of hugging and kissing she had me crawl up into a missionary position and put me inside her the first time. She was extremely patient and let me rest within her each time I tried to build up to a climax but hit a wall.

After about two hours of progressive build-up she helped me finally break through that wall.

My eyes clenched shut and the world faded to white as I finally exploded powerfully and deeply into her. She held her legs tight around me and her whole body shivered around mine.

After breaking the ice, the next four nights became gradually easier, to where I did not have to last beyond ten minutes if I didn't want to, and of course I drove her crazy beforehand with the oral she taught me.

Anyway, at the end of this wonderful time, my friend said we would only be intimate for that week only, and that going forward we could only be friends.

She said she saw inside an incredibly loving and passionate person who made her feel great, even special. She said any woman would be lucky to have me. She made me swear never to sell myself short that way ever again.

"Friends forever?", I begged. "Always.", she said, "Call me any time of the day or night whenever you need my advice on how to deal with people.
Get away from your mother ASAP. Get out there, and make me proud!"

I did so ever since. She passed away from MS more than 20 years ago. the best way I found myself able to honor her memory was to use it in my life.

So, that's why I have the attitude that I have toward women. I was literally touched and loved by an angel for my very first time.


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