Things have been very busy lately. 'Nuff said. I was in an airport overseas last week and saw my first boyfriend in a bar. He didn't see me and I didn't make an effort to connect. I was stunned to think of all the years that had gone by. He's turned into a handsome man and was wearing a suit, nursing something that looked like bourbon alone. I wondered what he did now: A contractor? Working for an oil company? I thought of learning how to suck cock on him, those nights in his car in high school. I never did the hookups that were common then — we were real "steadies," which is more and more of an anomaly. And the first time we fucked. It was a sweet memory. I moved on into a secure area of the terminal where he couldn't see me. In my mind, I'm as horny as when I was seventeen, stroking his cock, putting it in my mouth, tasting semen for the first time, hearing his entreaties to fuck him. I hope the years have been good to him.
My sister, Amber, forwarded me a link from home (Seattle). It was about a girl who was picked up on Aurora Avenue by a guy who wanted to pay her to tie her up. Only my parents know what I really do for a living. Amber knows I'm a slut, and I really think she believes I'm a prostitute. Anyway, the dude turned out to have a torture room and the girl was lucky to get away alive. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked him. "We'll see," he said. Lots of sickos out there. I wondered: How many men my age go to prostitutes? There's so much free stuff out there. But from the trade along Aurora and every other similar avenue in America, the answer must be: A lot. A few women are like my friend Mary Beth, high-end call girls making good money. But that's the exception. Most are feeding a drug habit, many have kids and lots don't even like sex. My mother was so fucked up sexually, I've wondered if my dad found release with a prostitute — but not for long. Who wonders about their parents' sex lives.
Once I was back in country, Amber calls. She's crying. Confesses to me she's been having an affair with a man who goes to her mega-church. He's married, of course. She knows her husband Justin has cheated on her. But she was "seduced" by this married man and now they see each other at least every week. Between her worries that she's going to hell, she wanted advice. It's very strange giving your sister blowjob tricks. Letting her know it's okay if she feels aroused and has an orgasm, that it's not the devil.
Amber is a pretty girl, younger than me and the looker in the family. Dark, straight hair, very busty. She's kept her looks through having three children. There she is out in the suburbs, going to church and hearing the preacher talk about sex and sin, and getting horny hearing all that fornication talk. Nobody's perfect. We were never close and this conversation is the closest we've ever been. It made me sad for her that she can't enjoy just her sexuality. Lord knows Justin deserves it, as long as it doesn't blow up and hurt my nieces and nephews.
I'm sure we'll talk again. The guy likes to fuck her from behind. "It makes me feel like an animal," she said. A lilt in her voice.
